February 25, 2011

Part VI I'll Take You Back

The night before I go see the maternal fetal specialist I have my breaking point.  I am in the shower crying.  It's the kind of crying that pains you to even think about, because you don't know where it comes from.  I get out emotionally drained and I head to the closet.  It was my darkest moment yet, but it all changed in an instant.  I fall to my knees confessing to God and telling him how sorry I was for blaming him.  I handed it all over to him.  The guilt, the anger, the hate, everything.  I told God I could not do it anymore alone and I needed him to be in control.  I woke up the next morning with such a strange peace that I knew He was in control.  He was the whole time, I just had to let him be.  I went to the dr the next morning.  I showed him my paper work from RIA and he said he would follow their suggestions.  Before I left he asked me if he could pray with me.  I told him I asked God to lead me to the right hands and He had.  The dr held my hands and he prayed such a beautiful and caring prayer.  We were both crying.  I walk out of the room and the receptionist comes over asking if everything is okay.  I tell her it is now.

I'll take you back always

And even when your fight is over now

Even when your fight is over now

I'll take you back always

And even when the pain is coming through

Even when the pain is coming through

I'll take you back


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