December 13, 2011

To Serve Others

If I teach on thing to my kids or my students it is that they are precious and they are valued.  Their thoughts and their beliefs are valued.  Their feelings are valued.  The person they are and will be is valued.  I struggle with the notion that people choose to think less of you because of your "religion," your education,  or your color.  The merciful God that I know will not ask me one day what church I attended or for me to state my religious beliefs to Him.  I think he we will want to know if my heart was good.  If I served others.  If I welcomed those who needed welcomed and hugged those that needed hugged.  Did I treat others with dignity and respect?  Did you do without so that you could help a family in need?  Did you give part of yourself to help save somebody else? Did you hurt somebodies feelings to make yourself feel better? And if I don't live up to this then shame on me. Shame on me for being that kind of person that doesn't think before I speak.( Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry)   I am so fortunate to get to surround myself with people that have such good hearts and I pray for those who hearts are closed. We each have a purpose in life. Big or small.  There's a bigger picture we are all grasping at and too often our prejudices get in the way of what most of us are after and it interferes with our relationship with Jesus.

One day when Heaven was filled with His praises
One day when sin was as black as could be
Jesus came forth to be born of a Virgin
Dwelt among men, my example is He
Word became flesh and the light shined among us
His glory revealed
Living He loved me, dying He saved me
And buried He carried my sins far away
Rising He justified freely forever
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day, oh, glorious day
One day they led Him up Calvary's mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He
Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
And took the nails for me
'Cause living He loved me, dying He saved me
And buried He carried my sins far away
Rising He justified freely forever
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day, oh, glorious day
One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose, over death He had conquered
Now He's ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him
The grave could not keep Him from rising again
Living He loved me, dying He saved me
And buried He carried my sins far away
Rising He justified freely forever
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day, oh, glorious dayGlorious day
One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my beloved one bringingMy Savior Jesus is mine
Living He loved me, dying He saved me
And buried He carried my sins far away
Rising He justified freely forever
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day, oh, glorious dayGlorious day, oh, glorious day

May 31, 2011

Fast Forward....

I'm jumping 8 years now.  I have beautiful twins that are each others best friend!  They are everything I prayed for and each year it only gets better.  I feel blessed with who they are and who they will become.  Kurt is funny, talks non stop, and has an imagination like no other.  Allison is kind, artistic, and musical.  She writes poems and songs that I don't think I could produce.  They are growing fast and I know in just a matter of time they will leave home to start on their own.  I hope I can lead them in in the right direction and that they know they always will have a home to come back too.

April 13, 2011

Shoot Me Now

In the prep room the dr and nurses began to argue about putting a mark on my left cheek.  I know...a little mark that is mandatory, so that the surgeon does the procedure on the right side.  Finally, the dr put a tiny little pin mark on my left cheek and then they argue over fetal monitors and pain medicine.  The procedure should take less than 10 minutes the dr is yelling and the nurses are screaming back, but we have to put monitors are her.  Then they tell me I won't be getting any pain medicine.  I keep telling them to just take care of the babies.  We get into the operating room and the oral surgeon sees an old church member from her church, so they decide to catch up on 10 years of Oh, I've missed seeing you and and How are your kids, blah, blah, blah........Finally, the dr puts some sort of device in my mouth to keep it open and she says, are you ready.  I'd been there almost a week and she wondered if I was ready.    She cut into my gums and I thought I was going to pass out.  THEN from the cut and the blood being sucked out she inserted a tube into my gums and stitched it in.  No pain medicine!!!  I was shaking so bad and the monitors were sounding off.  The nurses kept telling the dr to hurry, which only made her angrier and I swear she was taking it out on me.  I kept asking God to please lest me pass out.  Finally, she was done and I am bawling and I think in shock by the pain.  The nurses only make me stay a few minutes in recovery, because I was awake during it.  I get to my room and my mom sees me and she starts crying and has to leave the room.  I keep telling the nurses to please get a sonogram of the babies and they do.  They were are okay.  I leave the next night swollen face and all, but  have a wonderful baby shower the next day.  All of this was caused by an abscessed wisdom tooth.  But, even with that terrible ordeal I would have done it again to be where I am today.

March 24, 2011

OK,OK,'s not OK.

I held it together until we got to the car. I break down thinking, Okay God, I know you are in control and I am trying to figure this out, but why? All I heard was Trisomy 18. During the appointment I felt like I was there, but not really there. Tim was silent until I asked what are we going to do. All he said was pray. I called the dr that night and told him to please tell me everything again. He did and he said  that the cyst could dissolve and everything turn out alright. I was still losing it inside.  I was not about to have the amnio to test it for certain.  The idea of losing the babies because of the test was too high and I loved these babies no matter what.  I was going weekly to him now and they kept checking for the indicators. His sister made every attempt impossible to get good pictures.

I was so scared. I kept telling God I could handle it and that I knew He would help me take care of Kurt. Tim was keeping it together pretty good, but I could tell there was a sadness that their might not be a little cowboy following him around. He never once said it, but I could feel it. I also knew Tim would handle it just like he does all situations, very black and white. Here's the deal, now this is what we do.
I had lots of scares to the hospital. By 6 months we are going to the dr or hospital 3 times a week. Either for a stress test or sonograms. At 28 weeks my jaw starts hurting and our AC goes out in our house. Two great combos!!! I go stay at my parents house and I start popping Tylenol like it’s candy. I keep telling my mom something is really wrong. Finally, at midnight we head to the hospital and they check the babies and say everything is fine. My dr has to come in the middle of the night and looks at the sonogram and says they're fine Go Home and rest. He leaves and comes back right before I am about to leave and by then the side of my mouth is swollen the size of a watermelon. He tells me never mind I have something going on. I am admitted and it ends up being an abscessed wisdom tooth. While I’m there my fetal diagnostician starts calling for oral surgeons to come help with it. No one will even touch me because of the blood thinners. By the end of the week I am panicking (painfully) because my baby show is the coming Sat. Finally, one dr says she will help out.
Thursday afternoon they prep me to fix the problem. I was not ready for what was about to happen.

March 7, 2011

Just GO

I quickly get into the Fetal Diagnostician and I’m given an orange to practice giving shots. I give myself my first lovenox injection in his office. I leave his office with a prescription and a different kind of worry. I’m told that the shots were around $100 a day and I would take them daily throughout the pregnancy. I head home and go straight to my pharmacy. They don’t have the shots. I panic and start calling places in Lubbock . One pharmacy in Lubbock had a month supplies. My mom and I head up there. We are behind a car at the drive through and my heart is pounding. Tim and I had enough saved up to cover a month and a half of the medicine. My parents said they would help us out and I figured I could max out every credit card we had. In all honesty it would not have mattered I would have done just about anything to pay for those shots. We get to the window and I have my check book out ready to write the amount. The girl comes with the package and just hands it to my mom and we sat there. Finally, my mom says how much and she says no charge. She says no how much for the medicine and she said it said no charge. I look at my mom and say GO. Don't ask again!!!!  Just GO!!  I was already told we would have to pay for all of the shots, that our insurance would not pay for it and here in writing on the receipt it said no charge. I have no doubt that God was intervening right then. I know He knew the stress of money was not going to help out in any way. My mom still laughs about how I acted when the girl kept saying no charge.

I told everyone about the pregnancy as soon as we found out. Church secretaries would call and say we were on their prayer list. I believe in the power of prayer and believe our outcome is because of turning it over to God and people praying.

Sixteen days after finding out I’m pregnant I find out on my birthday we are having twins. I am by myself at the dr and the nurse said hope your ready for this. I was never more ready. I called Tim and all he said was are you sure and well all right then. I think he is in shock from the news. I call my mom and she was beyond excited. From the get go my dr says to do next to nothing the first 12 weeks. That is the most critical time for development and not to stand. Well, I teach and that’s kind of impossible, but a wonderful teacher brought me a BIG YELLOW (BIG BIRD) recliner to sit in while I taught. I did! I even had my evaluation done while I sat in that chair.

Morning sickness, Night sickness….I had it all and I loved it. To me it meant my babies were growing. Even though I had let go of my control I was still nervous. I called the nurse constantly. I had her home number and she put up with me. I had a stethoscope and I would try to hear them moving all the time. I became obsessed with that thing.

At 14 weeks I was put on bed rest. I laid on my couch like an incubator letting my babies grow and hoping they would make it to at least 28 weeks. My mom was really good about the whole thing. She cooked one meal a day for us, kept my house clean, and was on call to get me to my dr appointments and few scares we did have.

During my 16 week ultra sound the tech is doing the sonogram and he has an oh, no look on his face. He leaves to get the dr. I am praying furiously and Tim starts pacing the room.

My dr comes in and looks at the screen. He first says congrats it’s a boy and girl. Then he says there’s a concern. There was a cyst in the boy’s brain. Kurt I tell him. His name is Kurt. It can be an indication of Trisomy 18. I keep saying ok, ok, ok. I was tyring to hold it together. He said we could do an amino to be certain. NO, no way. I was going to love this baby no matter what. He said he would just have to check for symptoms. The indicators would be clubbed feet and hands. He couldn’t get a good picture of either because of the girl. I told him her name is Allison.

March 2, 2011

Part VII Almost there.....

I only end up doing three of the 6months of lupron injections. One month in the summer with the shots was torture. I guess if you have ever had the shots or are going through menopause you know how crazy you become. I had a goal though, so I was going to have to go with it.

That August I am sitting in inservice a few days before school is about to start and I feel terrible. I keep thinking the lupron injections are killing me, but I had a plan and I’d deal with it. I set through the team meeting crying hysterically to myself. We finish up and I gather up my stuff. I walk out of the room and standing at my door is one of the Superintendents and the next door teacher. I blast through them and start throwing up and I figured I really had destroyed my insides, or I was about to be fired because I was throwing up 5 feet away from my boss. I try to compose myself and tell another teacher I was headed to the dr. She keeps telling me I don’t need to go alone. She makes some calls to let people know something is going on. I get to the dr office and sit for a few minutes and tell them something is really wrong and they get the dr and he says it’s my gall bladder. He does the xray and it’s not that, so then he thinks my appendix ruptured.

My mom gets there as they are loading me into the ambulance. She jumps in the front and then quickly wanted out, but it was too late.  Once I’m there I start begging the guy to give me a shot of anything. He does and I go out quickly. When I get to the hospital I keep telling the nurses I don’t have time for any of this. It’s not part of the plan. One guy was like well you are on plan b now. Didn’t like him at all!!!!! I have the surgery and in it they can’t find the appendix. It hadn’t ruptured but it was not in the right spot. It was twisted on the other side of my body (my cut all across my stomach in their treasure hunt proves it). He finds it and said it was about to ruptured. He’d found it in time! He tells me I’m out of work for 6 weeks. This really was messing things up. I go back after two weeks…..this was nothing compared to the last year ½.  I have the best class that year. They seemed to really like me, but I think they had Viola Swamp for a sub. It’s the kindest class I could have prayed for. I see those kids now and they mean so much because they were with me when things finally started looking up. Even though they had to deal with me being menopausal for 2 more months! I would stand over our wall a/c unit and tell them to hold on give me a few seconds because I would be freezing in a minute! They were little and just thought I was crazy!

I get through the first semester with lots of dr appointments. Finally, in Dec. my nurses tell me I’d ovulated two eggs. I knew from that moment I was going to have twins. On Christmas morning 2001 I take a pregnancy test. Only one. With the last three pregnancies I took at least a dozen, but I just had a different feeling. It was positive!!!!

With pregnancy 2 and 3 I told only a few people. With this one it was different. That night I was at my Grandma’s and all the family is sitting around. Something in me told me to just announce it. I am very quiet around all of them usually, so this was big for me. I also ask them to please pray for us and the baby. My Grandma said she new this time would be different and I didn’t need to worry.....

March 1, 2011

Happier Days Are Headed Our Way

My story has a few more wrong turns and will share it with you this weekend!!  My happy endings are keeping super busy this week with basketball games and music.

February 25, 2011

Part VI I'll Take You Back

The night before I go see the maternal fetal specialist I have my breaking point.  I am in the shower crying.  It's the kind of crying that pains you to even think about, because you don't know where it comes from.  I get out emotionally drained and I head to the closet.  It was my darkest moment yet, but it all changed in an instant.  I fall to my knees confessing to God and telling him how sorry I was for blaming him.  I handed it all over to him.  The guilt, the anger, the hate, everything.  I told God I could not do it anymore alone and I needed him to be in control.  I woke up the next morning with such a strange peace that I knew He was in control.  He was the whole time, I just had to let him be.  I went to the dr the next morning.  I showed him my paper work from RIA and he said he would follow their suggestions.  Before I left he asked me if he could pray with me.  I told him I asked God to lead me to the right hands and He had.  The dr held my hands and he prayed such a beautiful and caring prayer.  We were both crying.  I walk out of the room and the receptionist comes over asking if everything is okay.  I tell her it is now.

I'll take you back always

And even when your fight is over now

Even when your fight is over now

I'll take you back always

And even when the pain is coming through

Even when the pain is coming through

I'll take you back

Part V Falling Hard

Lots of anger was built up.  I still didn't understand why.  I started questioning was it because of what had happened the first time, because I still felt so much guilt from it.  Something so natural was not naturally happening.  I started researching everything I could.  I begged for so many test that my dr was running me off.  I was tested for Antiphospholipid syndrome (APS) after the second misscarriage and it came back a low positive.  It causes blood clots, so I would take baby aspirin the next time.  At least I have some sort of answers on the second miscarriage.  We get pregnant again and I start taking the magical little pill.  I still don't tell people about this pregnancy in fear of the what ifs.  I think everything is going good.  I am still holding a grudge with God, but begging him to let this not end badley.  I go to the dr weekly for test.  I'm taking progesterone just in case.  I think that surely we have had enough of the bad, so this time it would be okay.  The Saturday of my 8th week my life changed.  I was changing the sheets and something just didn't feel right.  I went to the restroom and I was spotting again. I called my nurse and she said to wait until Monday, that hopefully it wasn't anything.  I was screaming my pleas and sorries for thinking so badly of God.  I go in Monday morning they do a sonogram and I get sent straight to a Maternal-Fetal Dr.  They thought it eas ectopic and it was about to rupture.  I kept thinking This CANNOT be happening again.  When the dr came in and  did the internal sonogram I thought I  had become his science experiment.  Every dr in training, nurse, anyone he could find cme in to look at the screen.  He kept saying it was a ring of fire and he'd only seen ones like this in textbooks.  At that point I could have cared less what they did.  I really thought Tim would have to put me in a mental hospital, because I was losing it fast. Little did I know that this dr would save me.  I go home the next day.  A song was out called The Tin Man by Kenny Chesney, it seemed like it was on every time the radio was on. It's lyrics were exactly what I was feeling.

It's times like these
I wish I were the tin man
You could hurt me all you wanted
I'd never even know
Well..I'd give anything just to be the tin man
And I wouldn't have a heart and I wouldn't need a soul
Well I'd give anything just to be the tin man
And I wouldn't have a heart and I wouldn't miss you so

I go back to see my dr and he tells me he doesn't know what else to do that he wants me to go on lupron injections to start menopause and then start from there and that he was sending me to a fertility specialist.  There was a three months wait to get into the specialist, so I had a lot of time to feel sorry for myself.  I was mad about that and not easy to be around because of the injections.  In some of my countless hours on the internet I found two drs that had a practiced called RIA.  Everyhting they wrote about and there case studies fit me.  I contacted them and had an email and phone consultaion.  He prescribed what I needed to do to stay pregnant.  I was doubtful beacuse my regular ob wasn't comfortable with all this information I had now, so I called the maternal fetal dr figuring he owed me one since I became his case study unwillingly.  I got an appointment to see him.

Part IV Pregnant Again

A few months later we are pregnant again. My new dr is watching everything closely.  Everything is going good.  I think that everything is working like it should have the first time.  I am happy and dreaming of what our baby will look like, act like, look like!  I decide that we shouldn't tell anyone but family not wanting to have to untell them if anything were to happen.  Everything was going perfect I thought until the 3rd month.  I started spotting and called my nurse in the middle of the night.  She said it was normal and I was ending my first trimester, so I needed to calm down, but come see them in the morning.  I remember staying up all night pleading with God to save this baby.  I had a feeling though something was wrong.  It's strange what you will beg and plead for out of fear.  That morning I sat looking at all the soon to be moms and hating them all.  Hated that they were not scared and worried.  I get called back and they listen for the heartbeat.  We don't hear one.  He does a sonogram and the baby doesn't measure at 12 weeks.  The baby died at around 10 weeks.  The dr tried to say all the right things.  I just wanted to run away.  I kept saying he might be wrong, are you sure, can we come back tomorrow and recheck.  We schedule the D&C for the next day.  I walked out into the lobby hating all of the women in there even more.  That night I kept asking God what I did, why I deserved this, why Tim deserved this, why was He punishing us.  I was so mad at Him.  Test came back inconclusive of why I miscarried, but it started my mission.  I read everything I could get my hands on.  I cried all the time.  I despised parents that talked to their kids hateful.  Thinking why do they have kids and I don't.  I started talking with a lady I found on iVillage.  She told me she's had two miscarriages and her dr had prescribed baby aspirin and she had a healthy baby now.  I called my dr and he said it was worth a shot, but to slow down,  I needed time to grieve and as he said it the only thing I can think of  is grieve..I'm too mad to grieve.  I didn't know how much hate I could really have in me, but I did.  God was at the top of my list to hate.

February 24, 2011

Part III So Lost

The next morning I go to the hospital and I have a D&C , plus a laparoscopy done for the endometriosis.  I ended up staying until the next day because of the surgery and I think my new dr thought I couldn't handle it yet.  I had/have never felt so much guilt.  I started out questioning God and then I ended up hating myself because I wish I'd been more clear minded when everything started falling apart.  I wish I would have had someone there with me when my old dr said this is what we need to do.  I wanted so badly to be in a car wreck and wake up from a coma or deep sleep and all the pain maybe would be gone when I came to.  I never questioned God after that surgery again why it happened.  I knew why and I would have to find peace in it somehow. A few weeks later I  get a new student in my class that had to be a God sent messenger.  The boy was a mess.  In his 8 years of being on this Earth he had seen more and been through more than I hope I ever have to witness in another student.  He kept my mind preoccupied and I needed it.  I would wake up and go to sleep thinking about this boy and praying for him.  A few months later we find out we are pregnant again.

February 23, 2011

Part II That day

I was numb from everything.  I wanted to just stop feeling.  I finally get home after pleas from my mom to pull over and let her come get me.  I wanted to be alone.  I didn't know I could even feel that way,so I sure didn't want anyone to see me.  I came home fell on the couch and begged myself to fall asleep and wake from the nightmare.  It was cut short by a phone call.  Tim's mom called and said his dad was in the hospital with chest pains.  I asked if he was going to be okay and she said he should be.  I still wasn't thinking clearly, so I didn't even call Tim to tell him.  By the time Tim got home he was frantic about me and his dad was going in for open heart surgery.  He checked on me and then left for the hospital.  I can't even remember how many days his dad was at the hospital, but he was okay.  People would say they were sorry and I wondered if they were talking about my father-in-law or the baby.  I didn't go back to school the rest of the week.  I did not want to face people.  I had already picked names out, color schemes for the nursery, and I thought I already knew what my baby would look like.  And he was gone and I had to act like nothing ever happened, because no one else felt the way I felt about my baby.  People at my school were great.  They cooked many meals for me and my principal had been through a loss too and understood.  I went back the next Monday assuming God didn't intend for us to have that baby,  but everything else would be okay.  So, I thought.  Two weeks had gone by and I still had not passed anything.  I called my dr and they assured me I should have within 72 hours, so I needed to get back up there.  I go the next day and the nurse took me in her consulting room and said I think we made a mistake in your lab and your HCG level was 15000.  We were off on dates.  I don't even see the dr.  I get up and tell them I need my records and they won't give them to me.  I walked out and go numb again, because I know what I have done and what it cost me and my baby and I can't take it back.  I can't make it alright.  I call Tim.  He's furious and then I call my mom.  She is upset too.  I had been hearing about a wonderful dr and thought I'd call him for help.  I call and talk to the receptionist and she says he can see me once I am pregnant.  I ask to talk to the nurse and she says to be there by 8:00 the next morning.  We get there before the dr the next morning. I get called in his tiny little room and I break down.  The nurse holds my hand as he does an internal sonogram and his face falls and the nurse starts to tear up and my world falls apart.  The nurse leaves the room and calls the first dr.  They won't turn over the records.  She tells them she's headed over there to get them.  We see on the screen my baby but, the shot did what it was meant to do and my hell starts again.  The dr schedules a D&C for the next day.  That night I miscarry at home.  I was 4 months pregnant.

February 22, 2011

Part I God Blessed the Broken Road

Tim and I married young and we decided to have kids young too.  A year after being married I told him I was ready to have a baby.  I knew it was not going to be the easiest job, because I had endometriosis, but I figured the road we were going to go down would only have a few bumps.  We were headed in the wrong direction quickly.  I was at school one day and I told a good friend that I hadn't been feeling well.  She begged me to take a pregnancy test and I did and to my excitement I was pregnant.  Eight weeks by that point.  I went to my dr. and things were going as planned and we would listen for the heartbeat at the next appointment.  I was having to wait almost two months to go back.  Around 12 weeks I started having a sharp pain on one side.  Called the nurse ands she said it was normal as long as there was no spotting.  I waited until the 16th week to go to the dr.  He can't hear a heartbeat, but said I was probably wrong about the dates.  I told him I was really worried about the pain, so he does more blood work and he'll see me in a week.  I go back the next week by myself and my world crashes.  My HCG level is at a 1500 and he thinks the pregnancy is ectopic.  I needed Tim there so badly, but things were happening so fast I couldn't think straight enough to remember is cell number.  The dr left me in a consulting room to decide if I wanted a shot to end the pregnancy or go home at the risk of dying if it ruptured.  I was 22 and thinking I should not be making decisions like this.  Why is this happening to me and my baby.  Finally, the dr came back and said if I leave I had to sign this saying you were told what the possible outcomes were.  I was emotionally drained and said I get the shot.  The second I sat in my car it started raining.  I wanted to stand in it and wash away all the guilt I had at that moment for ending my baby's life.  I had a 30 minute drive home in rain that was so hard I could not see the end of my car hood.

February 20, 2011

D is for Dad

My dad is the best dad you could ask for.  He is a man of his word and taught Chris and I to value what we have.  I grew up thinking we did not have much, but I didn't not realize until I was in college that he gave us what we needed.  We were not spoiled by any means and I am glad for that know.  He is a wonderful grandpa to my kids.  He retired to help my mom watch my twins when they were 6 weeks old and he had hem singing their ABC's by the time they were 16 months old.  He doesn't miss anything that they do, but then again he never missed one of my events.  He would play volleyball with me for countless hours and not stop until I was satisfied with myself.   He had a heart attack a year ago, but I'll save that story for the H's.

February 18, 2011

C is for Christian and Chris

I grew up Catholic and when I was 32 my family joined a wonderful small Baptist church. Boy, did I think the roof might fall in when we stood up front to join, but it’s is one of the best choices we have made as a family. The church is wonderful and full of life. The kids are in a wonderful youth program and you don't hear..............Do we have to go? It’s can we pleaeeeeeese stay for Sunday School!

Chris is my older brother. He by far is the best brother anyone could ask for. He is the most patient and kind person I know. He would go the distant for ANYBODY. In saying that, he’s been stabbed a few times by people using him. He is an avid hunter and fisherman. He owns his owns business and does well  because of his Play Hard or go Home attitude. No, he doesn’t have a college degree, but has the most wordly sense I know. He’s dyslexic and you would never know because he taught himself to compensate. He would let me tag along when I was little and even when I was in college. He never let me be left out. I see a lot my own kids relationship in how Chris and I were growing up. He will shoot me for telling this story, but it is so funny that I still get that ouch my belly hurts from laughing so hard feeling when I think about it. We would get up before the crack of dawn to go hunting, fishing, or whatever else we could do and again he let me tag along. That morning he grabbed a pair of jeans from the dryer and out we headed. Chris, my Tim, me and Wade were going to the deer lease. Chris complained the whole time that his jeans must have shrunk, but who cared because we would be out in the middle of the boondocks. So, we do our thing at the deer lease and then head to the lake. Well, he decided once we got there he’d change into his swim trunks. When he takes them off you hear. Oh, Crap Jennifer these are your. Sure enough my FAVORITE pair of jeans are on his skinny butt, stained with who know what. I don’t know if I was more mad that he ruined them or that he could fit into them. We laughed and laughed and laughed until it hurt. Love him lots even though I don’t ever say it to him!!!

February 12, 2011

B is for Brownfield and Bon Jovi

Brownfield, USA
I was never one of those that thought I'd leave my hometown.  I guess it's my safety blanket and the people are nice too!!!  I really thought growing up nobody was as lucky as us b-town people were.  My grandparents and cousins all lived  here and my friends were on my street or just a few blocks over.  We grew up playing every sport we could, we played kick the can until all hours of the night, and when we coud drive we had the drag.  Our Sonic was/is most definitely the best around.  The owners put up with us setting there until curfew and us going around it trying to impress anyone that we thought was looking our way!!!  So glad gas was around $1.00 and $10 bucks would last me all week. One thing about Brownfield looking at it now as an adult is that our people are really hear for each other.  When there is a crisis or tragedy or good news we are here for each other.  Only once did Tim and I think we would move and my Grandma had a heart attack and I knew I needed to stay home.  We are still here and our house is really a home.  All of my cousins and even my brother have left, but I'm  here for the long run. 

Bon Jovi.  I love, love, love Bon Jovi.  The first time I ever saw a picture of Bon Jovi  ( in 5th grade)I thought he was a girl.  My friend April had a picture of him with lip stickers around it and I could not figure out why she was in love with this girl with the most beautiful hair I ever had ever seen. She played Shot through the Heart and I was hooked.  I tried to get Never Say Good Bye for the Senior Song when I graduated fro HS.  I guess was too inappropriate, but worth a try.   I even bought Allison a Bon Jovi t-shirt today!  She was not as excited as I was.  Kurt and Allison use to put on concerts to his music when they were little.  One day they were in the back of the suburban in my garage with the back open and the music blaring.  They had their guitars and they were in underwear only.  I ran in to grab my camera and came out the door missed the step and landed between the tire and bottom step.  Hurt and Stuck.  I was yelling for the kids to help me.  They were jamming out to Living on a Prayer and I knew the sheriff would think  it was odd if the kids called 911 and saw the scene.  So, I pulled myself together and got up before someone pulled up and finished listening to the kids jam session.
I like his new stuff too. I surprisingly can even get Tim to listen to him.  

February 11, 2011

What Makes You!

An article caught my eye about soup. What’s in your bowel and how does it describe you? I thought about this and really wanted to say potato soup, but didn’t know how that would describe me, so I went with ABC soup. The chicken noodle kind that I would try to spell out my name with when my mom made it for me. Thought each letter represented a me in some way. Here goes……..

Allison….my sweet Allison. I never thought I would be a mom to girls. I couldn't even imagine raising a daughter and boy did God laugh and say here’s your girl. She is ½ of the best thing that ever happened to me (her twin brother is the other ½) . She is so wise beyond her 8 years. She cares and loves deeply. She often talks to God like he is next to her and her heart breaks when others are weak. I wanted to name her Allison thinking we would call her Allie and by no way does she look like an Allie. She is an Allison through and through.  She is a tomboy, a cowgirl, sometimes a punky girl, she loves to sing, and play her guitar. She is the all American Girl in my eyes. Her name says it all….. The name Allison means 'noble exalted nature'. (a happy and gracious nature of a girl) Oh, my goodness I could go on and on, but my soup has more letters!

February 9, 2011

My Valentine

One of the things I want.  Looks so easy to make or you can head over to the Primitive Boutique to look around.

Kurt has been coming up with every imaginable I love you to .......something in our galaxy saying he can think of.  This is way to cute not to have sitting on a shelf. 

January 28, 2011

Extreme Makeover

This is such a must watch. A young girl in our community lost her life to texting and driving. This video is just so moving. My prayers are with the family and other families who have lost loved ones in such a tragic way. The Brown family will be featured on Extreme Makeover this Sunday.

Til You Got Home by Mark McGuinn for Extreme Makeover Brown Family

January 23, 2011

Dance Dance Revolution

Over the Christmas Holiday my cousin brought her Wii Dance Revolution game and pad.  I was hooked and I bought myself one!!!!  I hate to dance, unless it's country or goofing off with my kids, but this thing is sooo cool.  It's a great way to exercise too.  My cousin has lost so much weight and she uses it as part of her daily exercise!!!  It's an aerobic workout, but dang it's fun.  The twins get the biggest kick out of it and we can do it as a family.  Even though Tim just walks by and rolls his eyes!!  One day I'll get him on it dancing to Train!

January 14, 2011

Learning to Read

Read with Me

I was one of those moms that constantly was teaching my kids something new every chance I had. I guess that was the teacher mom in me doing my job. Both kids were non stop chatter boxes by the time they were 18 months old. They could recite their abc’s and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with no problems. I read to them every single night before they went to bed. (even as tiny babies, just so they could hear new words) It kills me to see my students coming in not having that background. Not that I expect them to know how to read when I get them, but that they didn’t get that mom or dad time. My kids are in 2nd grade and are reading really well and it makes me so proud of them when we can go into a restaurant and they can read the menu themselves (or the Sonic menu HAHA). People will ask me if they had any problems learning to read and no they didn’t, but I exposed them to reading so early on that it was very natural for them.  I know that there are some obstacles that kids go through to become readers. Those are the kids I LOVE to teach. I love to see the look on their face when they get it and it makes sense. I want to do flips and yells because they got it. I was asked what I thought was the best way to teach kids. Well, here goes……. (it’s short I promise)

1. The foundation starts at home. Kids need to be read to by someone. Parents, Grandparents, Babysitters, anyone. That doesn’t mean you have to have a ton of books laying around. There are pictures and signs all around that can help get the job done. I loved the Noggin channel when the kids were little. (I think it’s Nick Jr. now). It was covered with letters for kids to learn in fun ways.

ABC and Picture books are great things to start with.

2. SAXON Phonics. I love the Saxon phonics program. Both the public and home school edition. It gives such a good foundation that kids can grow with. I know you will either love the program or hate it, but if you will really give it a try you child, your students will succeed!!!   (I've seen it on ebay a lot cheaper)

3. Read, Read, Read…..every chance your kids can get. Make it fun. My kids are good readers, but if they think they HAVE to read they protest. If I tell them to check the mail, caller ID, the recipe, or read the Wii game instructions to me they will do it and don’t even know they are reading.  :)

Hope this is helpful. Just on a side note. If you feel like your kiddo might be showing dyslexia traits and is struggling with reading Saxon can really help.

January 7, 2011

Eyes of a Child

I love listening to my kids every morning on our way to school.  It's a 25 minute drive from our house to their school and where I teach.  Their awes and wonders is what  I wish I saw more often.  I get so busy in all the craziness that I forget to look around and rejoice in what God has right in front of me.  It really doesn't matter if the toys are picked up and that there might be dishes that need to be put away.  The world never stopped turning because of that.  (Even in the middle of the night when I have stepped on a Lego trap!!!!)  My kids love to talk about the sunrises on the way of school.  They always talk about the way God painted the sky and that the sun rays have to be the Angels singing.  Just like the other day when they saw a cloud that Kurt had to take a picture of because it looked like a huge car and he knew God was traveling with my Grandmother somewhere. have the eyes of a child.

January 2, 2011

Easy Roast

My good friend ( i mean good and more on that later) Rhonda shared this super easy roast recipes with me and so I thought I would pass it on.  Tim had a cow butchered and I had more types of roast than I knew what to do with.  Rhonda saved the day by this good and easy dish!!!

                    Hey Soul Sister!!!
These are some of the gifts she's given me!!

This is what you'll need:
1 can of coke or about 10 oz.
1 can of mushroom soup
1 package of onion soup mix
crock pot

Add all of your ingredients together and add your roast.

Cook for 8 hours on high.
Add potatoes and carrots halfway through or boil them right at the end and throw them in the crock pot to get the same taste. AND this is what you'll end up with.  Promise it is wonderful!!!!

Now a little more on Rhonda.  We have know each other since 3rd grade.  We were on the same softball teams, basketball teams, and lots of classes together.  We lived together our first year in college and were in each others weddings.  We have been through so many ups and downs together that we usually know what each other is thinking by our looks.  We have been there for each other through some of the toughest times imaginable and Tim will swear we talk to each other at least 10 times a day of the phone.  Now our girls are in the same class and are going through the same ups and downs as we did.  I am so glad to know that they will have each other to laugh with until their sides hurt, come up with really dumb pranks and have brothers to pester.  So, I think Rhonda would get the Best Soul Sister Award if there was one!!!